Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in eagenwatch's LiveJournal:

Monday, May 9th, 2005
4:32 pm	Transcending The Soup Bowl For A Look Inside Muffins EagenWatch Journal We're all trapped in slow motion here at EagenWatch, floating around in a the stinging brine of failure, or at least immediate dis-success. Our Kevin Egan remains elusive, despite a broad net of private investigators, bribed state troopers and Congressmen, and some hobos all searching under their carpets for any trace of the missing link in the Egan chain. Early on at EagenWatch we tried "googling" the name to see what came up, as had been suggested to us by many college students, some of which were very cute and whose numbers we stuck on the fridge. The results are, at best, puzzling. http://www.cs.brown.edu/people/ktegan/ Could this be THE Egan? The elementary school photo doesn't seem to reveal the same snear of alleged superiority, the eyes of piercing blackness that sought vainly for flaws in anyone else that the child could use as brick and mortar for his own crumbling self-image. The interest in computer graphics seems appropriate enough, given Egan's wearing of glasses, but who can say? We at EagenWatch were more intrigued by the link EganBU (Brown University) provides. http://www.cs.brown.edu/people/ktegan/otherkevins.html Australia? James Joyce? Japanese youth culture appropriate by American youth culture? The web is clearing brimming with Egans, and with no discernable content filters to weed out the imposters from the one true Egan, the EagenWatch staff is vexed. I wonder if "Moesha" is still on.... EagenWatch barometer: 17% real juice Music: "(There's) Nobody Here But Us Chickens" - Louis Jordan and the Tympany Five (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
5:53 pm	the fiercest winter of disinterest a quick search on google will reveal all sorts of "facts" to you concerning the living/dead state of kevin egan. it seems they there are many individuals out there living under the name "kevin egan." here at eganwatch, we understand that not all of these "individuals" can be THE kevin egan, but also know conversely that "kevin egan" is not just one man. to accomodate this, or eganwatch barometer must be very sensitive, more sensitive than even the dandiest eighteenth-centuriest frenchest poet. this entry is created for the purpose of informing the public how exactly we make our calculations so that the press won't mystify our incredibility to too high an extreme. first we must decide the probability that one of the "individuals" is the kevin egan of our memory. there will never be a 100%, due to the fact that our memory has not changed with time, and the fact that even if we found kevin stuck in the time of our memory, it would lend no further information on his life/death in the present - it is a paradox of many x's. we base this probability on closeness in age, physical characteristics, location in the world, sex, etc... we then multiply this number by the closest approximation of where this indivudal lies on the spectrum between life and death. say if we had a 10% and a 10%, the final coefficient for this man would be a 1%. then we take the total number of egan-avatars and divide 100 by that number. we multiply that "importance" coefficient by the "life force" value for each individual and then sum them all up. that number is our final "egan vector." the mathematical implications are still rather unknown. it is theorized that the derivative of the "egan vector" will yield the equation for proportion god/satan, or that the integral will in fact be the meaning of life. if we imagine the world as a vector-field of egans we would be able to find out much more, but the fact is that most of us weep uncontrollably when thinking of such a possibility and are too weak to even look at the tear-soaked equations. mathematics is no longer objective. nobody ever expected this, and we all feel so damn uncertain. with this sort of metaphysical signification, can there really even be a kevin egan anymore? can we really be talking about a person? this only adds further to the confusion of our search. latest barometer reading: 13% but we have no idea what that means and we are crying like tiny hollandaise children Current Mood: disturbed and puking Current Music: "time in a bottle" (Comment on this)
Friday, April 22nd, 2005
12:22 am	EagenWatch: Entry #1 For the first EagenWatch entry it seems prudent to discuss the reasons for setting up such a monumentous information network to discover the whereabouts and life status of someone who was, by all accounts, a pube eating d-bag. Most of us knew Kevin in middle school, where he played french horn in the school band. Due to his insufferable behavior, Kevin had few friends, and no one was really sad when they realized they weren't going to see him anymore. Time has clouded our memories, and we aren't sure when Kevin left. Did he simply go to another high school in our town, or did he move away before middle school ended? No one can remember for sure, which, combined with Kevins appalling lack of social contacts, puts us in an interesting predicament. If we take Schrodinger's illustration of quantum theory (Schrodinger's cat) to heart, Kevin is both alive and dead at the same time. Instead of a box and a bizarre chemical execution device, though, Kevin is out of contact and memory with the whim of fate, which could bring death in any number of forms at any time. This state of certainty (superposition of life and death) is at the same time uncertain, since we require a confirmation one way or the other to either close of a chapter of the past, or continue writing it until closure is achieved. Thus, EagenWatch. = Studmore Limbelt EagenWatch Barometer: 0% (1 Comment |Comment on this)